ALL ABOARD!
ROSIE'S FAMILY CRUISE
Rating 3 1/2
7 p.m. Thursday on HBO, with repeats at 3:30 p.m. Sunday and 2:45p.m. April 12.
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A woman holds her baby and tears up because she's on a cruise shipwith other people like her, where people don't give her grief aboutthe person she loves. "Are you crying?" her eldest son asks. "Yeah,"his mom says. "Just happy."
A couple on the same cruise hold hands, and they make a phone callto shore, to a nurse who tells them she's sorry but their pregnancytest is negative. The couple hug, devastated, and cry.
These workaday Americans have one thing in common. It's not thatthey're gay and have children, exactly, but that they are outcasts,to an extent, of an America that rejects their full legal rights tomarry and raise families.
So for a few days, 500 gay families go on this cruise, organizedby Kelli and Rosie O'Donnell, filmed and billed documentary-style,and called "All Aboard! Rosie's Family Cruise."
For the passengers, being on the ship is not an action so much asa reaction to those Americans who shun them, even a reaction to theparents who disrespect that they've fallen in love with someone andare raising children, either by their own pregnancies or adoption.
LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE
I suspect some viewers will be totally shocked at the content of"All Aboard!" There are no lovemaking scenes. The HBO documentary isso clean it could play on network TV. What will surprise some is thatgay parents look just like straight parents. They rock their babiesto sleep. They tell their kids to brush their teeth.
They look normal, for lack of a better word. The O'Donnells havemade possible this one little piece of calm, fact-based, fly-on-the-wall viewing, directed without pandering sentimentality by ShariCookson.
I wasn't expecting "All Aboard!" to be compelling. What couldpossibly be so intriguing about regular people on a cruise? As ithappens, though, the filmmakers follow a handful of typical adultsand teenagers, their joys and heartbreaks. It's actual reality TV, asopposed to what we've become accustomed to.
There's an amazing interview in which a gay man talks about how hetold his pastor he was having kids, and the pastor replied positivelyhow that would "bring more love into the world." The man can barelytell his story because he's crying from knowing how blessed he is: "Ihonestly believe God was saying, 'You can have this baby.' "
Another passenger turns to a partner and says, "I can kiss youwhenever I want" on this cruise. Imagine being afraid of kissing yoursoulmate on a public street.
Some passengers aren't gay, but are the children of gay parents. A17-year-old adoptee says she has more confidence because of the fulllove of her two dads. Another girl says her mom's partner "has beenmore of a parent to me than my father ever was. And she has shown mewhat it is to have two parents who love you."
Some people may presume, without even watching "All Aboard!," thatit projects a false impression of gay families. They are, of course,wrong.
KIDS ARE UNAFFECTED
Last year, an evidence-based Tufts University study found thatchildren of gay parents ended up no different from children ofstraight parents; they have the same levels of self-esteem; they'reno worse behaviorally or emotionally; they're not smarter or dumber;they're not any more or less stressed nor isolated by peers. They'renot any straighter or gayer.
That study reflected previous studies. Still, a small if loudamount of Americans keep coming up with excuses to sustain theirdisdain for gay families. They should listen to the straight girlpassenger who says she was lured into a fight or two in middle schoolafter kids taunted her and called her mom a "dyke."
Later, she says, she learned to say back to them that she lovesher parents, then walk away.
If only the taunters would learn the same restraint, they couldlive more of their own lives, instead of trying to dictate everyoneelse's. And then, a documentary like "All Aboard!" would become,blissfully, a relic of hard times.
WHAT ELSE IS ON:
TONIGHT
"Bonds on Bonds" (7 p.m., ESPN2): A weekly behind-the-scenesprofile of Bonds, done with the cooperation of the big, beefy, quitemuscle-y home run champ.
"Sons & Daughters" (8 and 8:30 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): One of TV'sfunniest new comedies gets back-to-back episodes tonight. Prospectsfor the show look bleak with the news that cast member (and formerChicagoan) Gillian Vigman has signed up for a Tom Cavanagh pilot forCBS. If "Sons" gets renewed for the fall, she can't be on the CBSshow. It would be too bad for ABC to give up on this surprisinglygood "Arrested Development" ripoff.
"Pepper Dennis" (8 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): You've seen the billboardads all over town. Now it finally begins, Rebecca Romijn's role asfast-talking, ambitious Chicago TV reporter Pepper Dennis. The hourcomedy -- which isn't filmed here -- has its funny moments, if you'rein the mood for an unrealistically glamorous "oe look at TVjournalists who flirt, fall in mud puddles and uncover politicalcorruption. "Pepper" tries to be something like "Ally McBeal" in itsromantic cuteness and wacky in the vein of old black-and-white comedymovies about journalism. It's slicker, more ambitious and has morechuckles than expected. Romijn is especially appealing. Brooke Burnsalternates between charming and acting-too-hard as her sister. Theshow just needs more consistently toned acting and a reliably fastpace.
"Wrigley Field: Beyond the Ivy" (9 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): The2001 documentary, narrated by William Petersen, gets its first run onlocal TV.
"King of Cars" (9 and 9:30 p.m., A&E): An oddball Vegas carsalesman gets his own reality show. In the first episode, he wantshis sellers to unload 40 vehicles in a day. In the second, the worstseller has to dress up like a showgirl.
WEDNESDAY
"The Amazing Race" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): The reality show nowairs here. The previous occupants, low-rated sitcoms "Out ofPractice" and "Courting Alex," do not. But CBS says they might comeback.
"Heist" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): The new "' cops-and-robbersdrama moves back an hour to take on "American Idol" and "Lost." Thatreturns "Law & Order" to its rightful time slot at 9.
"Jean-Michel Cousteau: Ocean Adventures" (8 p.m., WTTW-Channel11): In an hour documentary, Jacques' son and his mates study theHawaiian archipelago.
Source: Doug Elfman
e-mail: delfman@suntimes.com
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